1:10:20 AM - Dancing with a rich woman:

Who is paying the bill when everybody knows its the last night of the bar...

shall we dance... shall we leave... shall we stay... do we do... you are killing me softly with this gorgeous sight... where is the friend who borrowed me five million for the last drink...

everybody knows its the last night of this bar...

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1:56:19 AM - Layers of history:

I live in the Galata district, down at the old Genuesian tower of Istanbul, next door to the former English post office, opposite to the Jewish hospital. This district is part of Pera, once Istanbul's most elite of neighborhoods, a neighborhood of men in hats and tails and women with gloves and attire. This was a neighborhood home to foreign embassies, churches, synagogues and people of every ethic and religious background and persuasion.

In time the character of this district changed. Today 90 % of the tenants are eastern Anatolian immigrants in first generation, a rural and rustic life style in the center of a city and in between unoccupied houses and apartments...

I walk the streets of the district in nights on end. Enjoying the theatrical illumination of the alleys, cathedrals of light, fractal puzzels of urban structure... The architecture of old Istanbul - the old Constantinopal - became a screen watched through the interface, the window of my flat. A view over layers of human beings history with all its world wonders and mysteries: Hagia Irene, Hagia Sofia, the aqueduct, the Topcapi, the Blue Mosque, the bazars, places of love, world politics and intriges in the last tow thousand years...

Living in Istanbul is living in a mega-city classified as the second category of cities after the first category shaped by Sao Paulo or Shanghai. Living in Istanbul is living in a town with 12 or 16 million citizens, is living on an extended plateau in the human project, a non-space of simultaneity, instability and instant transmission. Living in Istanbul at the end of the millennium means living in a 2.500 year old city that never ends, you are always discovering new districts you never went before, even if you are born here you do so. The city shapes monthly new areas, new districts as if a network shapes permanently new sites and new domains, growing continuously with new layers, unlocated on any map. Over-night-build houses are added night by night and everywhere, an utopian expansiveness, a fiction and growing of urban environment that exists in our days.

In that way planning daily life is living the presence in a science fiction that never stops...

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2:14:23 AM - Living in Istanbul is life on the liquid edge:

On a sunny spring day I wake up very early from a yelling dog in the garden. First time I'm in bed with the woman I fall in love a couple of weeks ago. First time I share the blanket with her and I don't understand why all the sudden I get the feeling that I forgot to put the tube of the washing machine into the outlet while I switched on the machine and left the flat the other day. I imagine water is running down all six stories from the top floor to the ground floor. I get in panic, imagine the neighbors - mostly Anatolian immigrants in the first generation - are screaming, fighting against the masses of water running down the walls. And I start to think about if I should leave her in panic or if I should avoid the trouble, I'm expecting at my place, and continue sleeping and smelling her and holding her in my arms for another couple of hours.

Leaving her in panic so early in the morning would be because of the guy - the master of water and electricity - who reconstructed the bathroom where the washing machine is located.

Leaving her in panic would be because of him who reconstructed the bathroom without any emergency outlet in the floor, he forgot it....

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2:39:31 AM - Equality of time:

The roof is leaking and it drips into my flat, I hear it dripping down to the floor, it starts in the closet, continues in the living room and later in the bathroom. And Im thinking about the words of the guy who described himself as the 'master of water and electricity' and who reconstructed the flat,....

I needed weeks to understand the whole dimensions of this remark... The city sleeps late at night. When the breath slows down, the rain of the day stops and when you get the feeling time stands still, thats the time when we are awake: cats and dogs, like junkies in need of a quick sensory fix. The illumination is focused on points, shaping dark black areas in between. Black holes that easily can be replaced and filled with meta-attributes: hypercontent, hyperplaces, hypernothingness on a non-ORIENTable surface...

A fascination of artificial illumination on stage...

... the flickering computer monitor has become my replacement window on the world...

The view from my window during the last ten years is already a web project with its own URL describing a feeling of distance and neighborhood, a feeling of attraction and rejection: we don't have a place - or this place is everywhere... seduced from the distance... Berlin, New York, Istanbul...

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3:05:10 AM - Calling a friend:

Still no answer on your phone... didnt you came back from Transsylvania by the time you suggested... today they told me, you lost your passport... is it true... but then I guess the guys in Romania are thinking you are a refugee from Kosovo trying to enter illegal Turkey... trying to avoid the bombing and killing in Serbia...

guess they don't believe, that you are a man from Istanbul, born on a gorgeous island next to Izmir...

guess they believe you are one of the 10.000 refugees who disappeared ten days ago in Macedonia...

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3:23:33 AM - Stay out of crowds:

During the time pkk fanatics (the fanatic members of the militant kurdistan liberation group) started carrying out day by day bombs at crowded public places instability and infinity of town was obvious, bringing a black hole into time and life in form of hyperventilation. And it was not any more an accident within the physical world, or a surreal aspect of life, or a nightmare in between, the non-space, the vanishing became the physical world itself presented daily on tv: blond females in miniskirts camouflaged as expectant mothers moved to crowded public places like the Taksim square - the city's main square in the European part of Istanbul - and blowed themselves up during rush hours...

Using this type of harmless look-a-like of an human, everybody becomes suspicious for the other. Your feeling for being "afraid to lose" is already on an integral level of life, it means being prepared for the event that is not explicitly planned for (power failure, flooding, blasting, earthquake or being a bomb suspect), - ready for the accident - as victim as much as suspect, now everybody could be a potential will-be bomb...

Dont forget your residence permit when leaving home, dont behave like a bomb, stay out of crowds...

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3:47:50 AM - Being connected:

Being connected is a global, social seminar and a permanent learning process for those who are interested in creating a successful on-line identity. Super-language... Creating an on-line personality for the blinds... the participants will get to know what are the personal characteristics of a 23 year old blind Asian girl living in Singapore and they will learn how to successfuly promote this identity in cyberspace and whats believable or not.

Finally they will complete the new identity in nightly role-playings using ICQ... cutting and pasting... dragging and clicking...

Topics include: living conditions of blinds, what makes for a good on-line personality and for believable characters. Venture into cyberspace with multiple you's, viable doubles and partial derivates... your body becomes one and several, morphing from male to female, and back again...

Finally try to imagine how aliens would use the global network and its chat structure to study the human central nervous system.

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4:12:10 AM - The trick with friendship:

If you have a friend in a business you can get any special thing for the price of a common thing. It works with everything: airplane tickets, phones, computers; for example you can get a black label whisky for the price of the red label one. The deal will be done with a trick - I never understood the trick, but it works. The problem with the trick is it needs time. They cant do the trick few days before holidays, or they dont do it on Saturdays or Mondays, or they dont do it early in the morning or late afternoon... and in between the dealer, your friend, will forget you and your request.

So you have to remember him. But if you would like to get the normal thing instead of the special thing - because you need it immediately - or if you would like to get the special thing for the real price of the special thing, he wouldnt sell it to you. He wouldnt sell anything for its real price to you, because he is your friend and because of that he will sell it to you cheaper. And he wouldnt sell the normal thing to you if you could get a better thing for the same price from him. And because of your friendship you shouldnt buy it somewhere else...

Im still waiting for some things I would need immediately in life...

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4:23:10 AM - The trip to an illegal country:

Travelling to an illegal country means going to a country - part of an island - with its government, president and constitution not accepted by other nations. Visiting the illegal country means finding yourself in a terrible hotel in a divided town, that kind of hotels built in the 70th, with its special view over both parts of the city. Laying in bed at night, not able to sleep, you think they build that accident of architecture, taller then everything in town, only for the international spys you saw the other day during breakfast on the top level of the building...

Before entering the country you didnt know that you would be out of international law, that you would go to your bank branch office to ask for cash, and they would not except your credit card, because you are in another country... and it can be a nightmare being in an illegal country without cash...

Before entering the country nobody told you that your passport would be invalid after entering the country. With the entrance stamp in your passport some other nations will not except your passport anymore; and it is the stamp of a non-acceptable nation you find easily on recent world maps...

Visiting that country means you are on the best way to end up in the no-whereness of airports, - the areas between borders, that sections of airport terminals without windows, where you find all the duty free shops, coffee shops and bars....

... and you will wondering how this kind of a country can exist at the end of the millennium, where everything seems to be clarified for centuries.....

Its not a dreamland, its not the end of world, its just one hour by plane from my home...

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4:42:13 AM - Rendered at zero:

My last contribution to an exhibition in Istanbul with the title living room was an installation with a white wall.

It was a simulation of a white wall where I would have removed a physical picture after 75 years from the wall, non-art of pure emptiness: art rendered zero and void... (some visitors not even saw this work)...

The installation looked as we would have removed the picture of the father of the revolution after 75 years from our living room wall...

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4:58:13 AM - Fake dollars:

Because of the high inflation periodical payments are valued in US Dollar. So once a year you tax your monthly payments or your rent in US Dollar. Often the payment is in cash using 100 and 50 Dollar notes. You are going to change it in Lira in the amount what you will need for the coming week because at the end of the week you will get much more Lira for the same amount of US Dollar.

My first fee here was paid in 100 Dollar notes. I picked it up on a very hot summer day from the account office. Compared with outside the light in the office was very dark, coming from outside I saw hardly the details of the room and the details of the notes I got. First time in my life I took 100 Dollar notes without proofing them, first time in my life that I accepted 100 Dollar notes at all, I never did it when I was living in New York City. I went to an exchange office and could be lucky that I didnt end up at the police station and that the guy behind the counter gave me back the tow notes I tried to change. Looking at them carefully I recognised that they were primitive fakes, made on a Canan color copier. I took a cab back to the account office. The guy, who gave them several hours ago to me, took them, apologising he put them back into the safe and gave me real notes which by that time I proofed.

The inflation is so high that mostly everything cost millions and its hard to handle the notes you get as change. But people like to deal with that numeral of numbers. Easily you are loosing the feeling for any value and even the poorest wretch is a millionaire. Prices are increasing approximately monthly, and of course normally the price increase is higher than the inflation, so life in Istanbul is already very expensive.

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5:15:00 AM - Distribution:

Imagine: you enter a cab, saying to the driver "distribution" and after a ride of ten or fifteen minutes you will end up on one of the worlds most chaotic and crowded squares.

Thats the Taksim Square in Istanbul, the busiest center in the European part of the city with an anarchic traffic. The Turkish word Taksim means distribution. In the last century Taksim was the original water distribution for the European district of the old Istanbul, of the Pera district. Today it is a chaotic traffic junction, a pulsating passage. Everybody tries to find his or her bearing within the chaos.

You are leaving the cab, and as a stranger not knowing that you have to jump between the approaching cars without looking at them to cross the street you don't know how to get through the place. The Taksim square offers only few regular pedestrian crossings.

If Taksim shows something, then a hidden order. In that way Taksim is the opposite of squares in north European cities with their stone made locations, their perspectives and their radial structures. At Taksim you dont rest like on squares in Italian cities. If you look at Taksim from above you recognise an irregular chaos, manifold outlines, and you sense an intention of a planed structure, a network and the try to organise it. If you are looking from above you see an artificial place where things are keep going in the dimension time is running. You see a world being pending. You are kidnapped into a chaos of turbulence: everything is thrown together, getting its order, waves 24 hours each day. From above you see between racing cabs, busses and cars a fountain, the never ending construction site of the subway, the Atatürk monument and the former water contribution of the city.

This view of a pilot defines a position that seems to vanish the horizon, towards a zero of form, towards a zero of design. A position that allows you to become absorbed in the indefinite.

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5:35:00 AM

The Imam starts to sing for the first time of the day. I hear it from the mosques I see in the dawn.

It is one and a half hour before midnight, still the other day in your town, no time to sleep...

...shall we dance on the roof, watching the boats criss-crossing the Bospherus, criss-crossing the waters between Europe and Asia at sun rise...